Stand and Deliver

Bad teaching vs. good teaching

After watching the movie Stand and Deliver, I have come to the conclusion that there is no bad teaching involved at all. Of course this is all based on personal perspective, but in every scene where Mr. Escalante comes across as too "harsh", or maybe too belittling of his students, he manages to always make a strong point of why he acts the way he does, which is also a lesson in itself why we should never be too quick to judge a situation.
Mr. Escalante criticizes his students and sometimes even humiliates them. At first glance his strategies might come across as bad teaching, but in reality he uses his methods to encourage his students to try harder and do better. He challenges them.
In one particular scene, Pancho is solving a Calculus problem on the board in front of the class. He becomes overwhelmed with the problem and feels he cannot do it. Pancho expresses to Mr. Escalante in front of the whole class, that everybody knows he is the dumbest person in school and doesn't have what it takes to learn Calculus. Pancho goes on mentioning to the whole class that he wants to quit school instead of letting the rest of the class down by failing the test. But Mr. Escalante refuses to give in to his outburst of self pity. He mocks Pancho by telling him in a very sarcastic voice how "heartbroken" everybody must feel for the "noble sacrifice" his student is making for the "sake of his team". He asks Pancho:" You want me to do this for you," referring to the Calculus problem on the board. Pancho answers:" Yes," and Mr. Escalante answers by telling his student:" You're supposed to say NO." He does not want Pancho to just give up and quit, he wants him to try harder and succeed. In the movie Pancho also mentions how he wants to join a union and work in construction. He tells Mr. Escalante that in two years, he will be making more money than his teacher does. So the teacher takes his student for a car ride. During the ride he speeds up the car and almost crashes. He gives his student the choice of which way to turn to avoid an accident. Pancho makes a split-second decision and tells Mr. Escalante in a very panicked moment to turn right. The teacher follows his students instructions and turns right. The erratic car ride comes to a stop at a Dead End. Mr. Escalante tells Pancho then:" All you see is the turn. You don't see the road ahead." Even though his approach to getting his point across is much exaggerated, it does seem to have a very positive effect on Pancho. He stays in school and keeps working hard at learning Calculus.

Another example of "bad teaching" happens, when Mr. Escalante exposes Claudia in front of the class as she decides to just leave early. He makes the comment:" She has more boyfriends than Elizabeth Taylor." Claudia get's upset with how he humiliates her in front of everybody by replying:" I don't appreciate you using my personal life to entertain this class," then she storms out of the classroom. Mr. Escalante realizes that something is wrong and that he's crossed the line. He goes after Claudia to find out what's really bothering her. Apparantly she's dealing with the regular teenage issues that many adolescent kids have. Mr. Escalante does not shrug her problems off, but offers Claudia comfort and support instead. Even with that gesture he's showing that he's a good teacher because he cares for his student and let's her know he's there for her, no matter what.

The other teachers feel as if Mr. Escalante is setting up his students for failure by raising the standards higher than the schools expectations, but Mr. Escalante disagrees with this way of thinking and says, quote:" Students will rise to the level of expectations," suggesting his students need to be more challenged to succeed and also do better than society gives them credit for.
It makes him a great teacher for setting up a path to a better future for his students and implementing self confidence in teens that are under privileged and had no faith in their own abilities before.  

Beautiful Hardships (Final Narrating Education)

There are so many lessons I've learned in my life, so this is turning out to be a more difficult assignment than I had thought it would be. I've encountered numerous people throughout the years, who have truly made a great impression on me and have taught me valuable lessons, but I've also lived through a whirlwind of events from which I have gained many life experiences and that have taught me lessons as well.

I would write about all of them if I could, but since we are limited on time and length of this essay, the one topic I chose to write about is the most painful lesson of my life, but also the most valuable of all:

The Loss of my First Daughter, and the long Years of Fertility Treatments that followed

I became a Mother at a very young age and in a foreign country. I was born and raised in Germany, so I found myself alone in the States where I had nobody to lean on, except for my husband at the time. My pregnancy was anything but easy. I became very ill and left doctors dumbfounded since none of them really knew what was wrong with me. The medical issues I was experiencing almost resulted in my not surviving the birth of my first child. But I did.

Ronya-Marie Rose Ellison was born on March 3rd of 2000, and although four weeks early, she was 23 1/2 inches long and 8 lbs 5.5 oz. She appeared healthy enough, save for the common case of jaundice which afflicts many newborn Infants, and a minor infection she apparently had, but which Doctors assured me was easily treated with an antibiotic. I also had a speedy recovery, and after 10 days of medical treatment and close observation, both my Daughter and I were released from the Community Hospital in Princeton, WV, and two months later we moved to Tucson AZ to start our lives together.

But our happiness would only be short-lived, for on September 6th of 2000, only days before our Baby Girl would've reached her 6-month mark, she unexpectedly suffered  from a brain aneurism which send her into a coma from which she would never wake again. Words will never describe what a mother feels during the loss of a child. From the moment I called 911, to watching helplessly as my Daughter drew her final breath three days later at the ICU at Tucson Medical Center, all I could think of was:" Why her and not me?" I would've laid my life down to save my Baby in a heartbeat, had that been an option. But there was nothing any Doctor could do for our daughter. She was gone, and our lives continued.

Many people have asked me since then, how I've dealt with my grief.

But how does anyone live through a tragedy without loosing their sanity?

I believe it's all up to us individually, really. I believe that our minds are very powerful, and that we can control our emotions if we really put our mind to it. It is up to us, whether we take shock and trauma and let it affect us negatively, or whether we take these horrible life experiences and gain strength from them. Sadness, Fear, Grief, Depression...etc., all are a state of mind, and you choose how you let them affect you. As for myself, I was always a very upbeat and positive person with a strong conscious, fully aware of my inner self. 

I always had an inner strength that would allow me to keep a clear head during the most trying times of my life, and kept me from just giving up and letting myself go. 

After the loss of my Daughter, I almost wanted to let grief and depression take over and just give up. I had seriously hit my lowest low of all, and so did my husband at the time, who started self medicating by drinking every night until he passed out. He was all I had left, and there was no one there to comfort us and help us through our grief. So I knew I had to keep going and stay strong. For the both of us.

As time passed by, I started teaching myself to focus on other things in life besides my grief and the pain of loss I would feel. I would distract myself by staying busy. I had been a stay at home Mother, so first I decided to get a job. 

Going to work was probably one of the smartest decisions I made during this time. It allowed me to be amongst other people and meet new friends. Every day life was becoming normal again with one exception: I started to realize that, due to my tragic loss I had suffered, I had developed a deeper appreciation for the smaller things so many of us take for granted every day. Overall I strived to be a better person and be thankful for what I still had. And so my life continued on a strong and steady path, my outlook on the world as a whole much altered in a positive way, and my appreciation for the people in my life much deepened.  

But the years that followed, would be far from easy and pain free.

I had always wanted children, so after some time, my then husband and I decided we wanted to try for a second child. But easier said than done.

Besides the fears we had after our first experience, and the "what-if's", we were faced with a new challenge: Infertility!

I remember the day we left the Doctor's office, after receiving the news that we were most likely never going to have another child of our own again. I was completely devastated.

I had experienced parenthood, although very briefly. I had felt the Love one has for their own child. Dreams, hopes and plans I once had for the future had been instantly destroyed, and when I had finally just dared to hope again, this was what fate had chosen for us?

My husband’s drinking was becoming increasingly worst and I started noticing drastic behavior changes in him. I blamed myself for what was happening and decided that I was going to do whatever it took to make things right again. And I was not going to give up on the dream of being a mother again. I was going to fight back and keep trying for something I so desperately wanted.

But I refused to give up. I decided that I was going to fight back and keep trying for something I so desperately wanted.

We ended up leaving Tucson, AZ, along with all it's sad memories and broken dreams, and we eventually ended up in Washington, where we started consulting different Fertility Specialists and seeking multiple options.

We finally settled with one Doctor who was very upbeat with a positive outlook on our situation. He was the only one that actually told me:” If you believe you can do it, then you will, and I will support you both all the way.”

Nobody else was supportive of my decision. I remember my mother calling me from germany one day, maybe during my fourth year of fertility treatments, begging me to please stop “trying”. “Is this really worth all the risks and stress you’re putting yourselve through,” she would ask. I was never mad at her for feeling the way she did because I knew that she was just worried about something happening to me. But at the same time I couldn’t help but feel more lonely than ever during this time. I had nobody to really speak to about what I was going through. No one could relate to how I felt, or understand why I was doing what I was doing. I had no one that could give me words of encouragement or hope, because nobody agreed with my decision. And when I tried to speak to my husband, he would avoid the topic like a plague, so I stopped attempting to have a talk with him about anything “fertility related”.     

The years went by, and the emotional rollercoaster became almost unbearable at times. I remember one day for instance, I ended up in the hospital with severe abdominal pain and extreme bleeding. I found out that I had a “tubal pregnancy” in which the fetus has no chance of growing and developing, and therefore had to be removed. I was released from the hospital the same day. When I arrived at home, I found my husband, who had the day off, playing video games and chugging what appeared to be his 12^th beer of the day. He was completely oblivious as to what had happened to me that day, assuming I was just getting off work. Up to this day he is unaware of that incident. I just quietly retrieved myself to our room and cried uncontrollably, wishing I had somewhere to turn for comfort.

And so the years went by, and I held on to my dream with everything I had. But there came a time when I had to come to terms with the fact that my husband had become an alcoholic, and that our marriage was seriously starting to fall apart. The winter of 2005/2006 was rough. My health insurance at work changed, and some of the fertility drugs that had been partially covered by my old insurance, were going to cost us an additional $600,- Dollars a month now with the new insurance. And then while visiting with family, a relative was trying to back our car out of their driveway and crashed and totaled it. We decided to not sue the relative, mainly to keep the piece in the family and because he was already struggling as it was. So we bit the bullet, bought a new car and decided to quit the fertility treatments. Instead we planned a trip to visit my family in germany for the following summer and try to salvage our marriage. And that’s when I found out that I was expecting again.

I wish I could end this story with: And they lived happily ever after, The End!

But that’s not realistic. My pregnancy ended up being a breeze the second time around, save for the monthly trips I had to take to the UW for extensive check up’s. With the close care and support I was receiving from some of the best fertility specialists I could’ve asked for, 

I was able to give birth to Angelina Juliana Ellison on the 6^th of October 2006.  And maybe it wasn’t the most perfect time to have a Baby in my life, she was the most perfect Baby I had ever seen. My husband and I were never able to save our marriage again. We tried for our daughters sake, but things just kept getting worst. We separated when Angelina was only 2 ½ years old and finalized our divorce four years later,  in the summer of 2012. I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year now and couldn’t be happier. I never gave up on having a child again, even after the painful loss of my

 first and only child.

 In conclusion I like to say, that all of these experiences have taught me patience, perseverance, strength and courage. Don’t let the bad times bring you down, but just learn from them and keep going. In the end it’ll all be worth it, because if you set a goal and you really keep working towards it, then someday you will. I hope that my story can also encourage you to never give up. I hope you can draw some strength and inspiration from my experience either now or in the future and utilize them in your own life. That’s why I like to share this story, my beautiful hardships.  

On Cate Huston's "How I Learned to Love Traveling Solo"

I must say, this narrative was quite a bit different than the last four articles we read in class. Feross Aboukhadiejeh, Joshua Romero, Malcolm X and Mike Rose basically all write about accomplishments in their lives and how it affected them. They speak of goals they set, how they achieved them and what led them to do what they did. But with Cate's article I feel that it lacks stimulation. Her essay is very informative on the "do's" and "not to do's" while traveling by yourself, should one ever consider traveling alone, but she doesn't speak of personal encounters that would set good examples to back up her opinions. I find her style of writing to be structured, but very dry. On a more positive note, I think that anyone who has ever considered traveling by themselves but has not yet done so, or would like to travel but hasn't yet for fear of having to go by themselves, should read this article. I admire people who are strong and independent, and don't let things get in their way of pursuing what they want to pursue. And that is the vibe I get from Cate Huston, although she might not be the best writer. I myself have traveled much in my life since my early childhood years, both alone and in company with others, and one thing I will vouch for is: It does require a lot of courage to travel by yourself, especially when you're visiting other countries and embracing new cultures. So while her style of writing is not very inspiring for my own essays, her courage is.

Malcolm X's "Learning to Read"

I found that the article :" Malcolm X's Learning to Read" was well written, easy to understand and straight to the point.
I was very intrigued by Malcolm's story and what he eventually accomplished. He set a goal and worked very hard to reach it. It's similar to what Joshua did. He also set a goal and was determined to keep working at it until he had completed the task. But Malcolm's experiences are more personal, more heartfelt, and extend over a much longer time frame than Joshua's. And above all I found his topic of choice much more interesting than Joshua's and Feross's combined. Now in Feross's case the situation is different because he never really set himself a goal to achieve success. Instead, he had a passion for designing Websites, so basically through practice, skill and with a little luck, his hobby eventually made him successful and become a hit. What I like about all three stories is that, each man kept at what he was doing and did not give up, no matter how long it took. I will strive to work hard on my papers as well and not give up easily. This particular essay was definitely very inspirational to me. I look forward to reading Mike Rose's "I Just Wanna Be Average" article next and compare it to Malcolm's writing.

Using the Readings as Models

Feross's Piece

I have to admit, after reading “How I learned To Program Computers” by Feross Aboukhadiejeh, I was quite disappointed at first. Not having learned how to use a computer in a time when computers were becoming mainstream and an essential part of everyday life, his article was very hard to capture my attention because I really couldn’t relate to Feross or the work that he’s done. Now don't get me wrong, I think his piece was very informative and well structured. I like how Feross included illustrations in his article, to show the progress he made with his websites over the years, but his topic bored me. Originally, all I got out of this reading was, that at a very young age he started building websites which ultimately taught him more and more about programming computers and eventually led to his success when he created "You Tube Instant". He writes about java script, web browsers and HTML codes…etc., which might as well be a foreign language to me. So there I was thinking to myself, how could I possibly use Feross's article as a model for my first paper assignment when I didn’t even understand half of what he's saying, let alone have any interest in his subject whatsoever.
I did have a deep appreciation for what he had accomplished, and I was not completely opposed to his article, I mean look at his background. This guy had a passion for something that dates all the way back to his childhood years, and so he kept working at it and perfecting it until it made him successful, that's pretty impressive.
I just found myself suffering from a severe case of writer's block, not sure if I really understood what the assignment was supposed to be about, and yearning for a much more interesting topic.

I was beginning to feel very discouraged and wondering if any of my classmates were experiencing the same frustrations as I was. But subconsciously I had already made up my mind that, even though I love to write and really look forward to my English class, maybe it was possible I just did not have what it takes to succeed in this course. We had just received our very first assignment and I was already struggling on what to write about, convinced that everybody else was doing far better than me.

Lost in thoughts, I found myself once more browsing through Feross's article when suddenly, one sentence captured my attention:
" None of us knows what were doing".
Curious as to why I hadn’t noticed this before, I clicked on the mentioned statement and found myself looking at a sub link to the original article. Here Feross speaks of his observation, how many of the young programmers, designers and entrepreneurs at Stanford shared the same mistaken belief about success and how it works. In his own words he states, that they believe successful people like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Paul Graham, Walt Disney, etc. have some sort of built in superhuman awesomeness that makes them smarter, cleverer and more brilliant than the rest of us. They were convinced that something about these people is unique and that their feats would be unachievable by anyone else.
Feross disagrees with this kind of thinking. Speaking from his experience, success often times just happens without any foresight, pre-planning or exceptional skills.

There it was, the answer to how I can use Feross narrative as a possible model for my first assignment. Unaware of it, I had already adapted the way of thinking, just like the young programmers, designers and entrepreneurs at Stanford had. I was convinced that I had no chance of succeeding in this class, compared to others that is. But Feross used key commands in the beginning of his article such as: "Doing lots of side projects", "practice, practice, practice", and "get your hands dirty". That is precisely what I plan to do! Just as Feross, I have succeeded in other aspects of my life, (and I am positive that I will be sharing some of my stories on here in the near future). But I had to work for it. I didn’t reach my goals so far by giving up and believing I couldn’t do it. If my java script is just a little of course, I will just start over and rewrite the program. It's that simple. So maybe I wasn't inspired by Feross's style of writing, or how he structured his sentences, or how he did well on the road to success. However, I do find inspiration in how he portrays himself, his attitude and whole outlook on things. He never gave up.

 I am glad now that I have read the article. It was a great reminder to not get discouraged because you really just don’t know what achievements await you in the future. If anything else, you gain knowledge and experience. I will share my honest opinions and write freely throughout this class and I look forward to sharing this experience with you.

Joshua's Piece

I don’t know what to say about this article. I think Joshua needs to elaborate his reason for “quitting Google” a little more. He speaks of his information being out there, and wanting to protect his identification. But I do not believe that quitting Google will make him any safer. With the internet being an ever expanding universe, how is it really possible to know who has your information anymore? Now if Joshua had quit using the internet altogether I could see his point. But quitting Google to use different accounts and other search engines, makes no sense to me.

If he is worried about his life and his privacy being controlled by Google, maybe he should reconsider his way of thinking. Obviously he is still using the internet, so maybe the World Wide Web is the issue here that’s consuming his life.


Having said that, I must admit, that Joshua's article places Feross's piece in a whole new light for me. I felt that Joshua's text seemed more monotone and less varied. But as for his point, well, Joshua set a goal, and his goal was to eliminate himself from Google completely. It doesn't seem that it was an easy task to do, but Joshua stuck with it. He did not give up no matter how frustrating it may have gotten, and I do admire that kind of determination in a person. Just as Joshua demonstrated, I do believe "determination" will be a key factor for me, while writing my assignments. 

And as for using this article as a model for my first paper assignment, I think I will decline. My disagreement with Joshua’s opinion, and the lack of inspiration I am getting from his article in general, is preventing me from applying his quest as a useful tool in my future work. But that's why I am taking this class. Maybe I will gather some more ideas as we move along, that may teach me how to fully understand the topics we are reading, and successfully utilize them in my own writings.